Let me make a quick confession before we get started: I've never watched an episode of Doctor Who in my life, and I'm not sure if I've ever even seen an advertisement for the show either (or paid attention to it, anyway). And to be perfectly honest, I don't really have any interest in doing so.
Eh? What's that you say? 'Then how do I have any business writing a Doctor Who comic-story?'
The answer to that question is simple:
I DON'T HAVE ANY BUSINESS WRITING A DOCTOR WHO COMIC-STORY!!!
Luckily for me, I didn't reeeeeeally have to write a Doctor Who comic-story. Doctor WTF?! Magazine is basically a collection of 'random perverse nonsense' in an alternate Who-niverse that has little, if anything, to do with the True-Who show; editor Owen Watts asked a gang of writers (including me, ha, the fool) to come up with bizarre new takes on the good Doctor and the time-space continuums he inhabits.
Before I go any further, let me apologize: I like to give some sort of insight into my thought process regarding the comic I'm blogging about, but really, I have nothing for this one. I just wanted to be as ridiculously fucking weird as possible. So let's continue, shall we, and I'll just gibber on about a lot of nothing.
First thing I did before writing the script was perform a quick wikipedia search to get an idea of what the good Doctor and his show are all about (so I could ignore everything, of course). Right away I liked this Davros guy, as he seemed a sad sort of fellow, all tragic and robo-wheelchair bound. And these robot thingies, Daleks, I figured I could do some stuff with them, too. Then I took all these random Who elements and mushed them together with my own perverse ideas and BOOM! A love story!
That's right, 'Cosmic Excrement' is a love story.
The 'Cosmic Excrement' tagline: evil Davros just wants to be loved, and he's been waiting throughout eternity for the perfect Who to fall into his withered arms and onto his impotent organs. Alas, it seems not to be - so he creates a Who from the Who-parts his Dalexxx Sado-Robots harvest for him to mix and match into the perfect Who all his own. See? A love story.
I found myself paired up with the perfect artist to draw up and color the strip: Bhuna, who also had never seen an episode of Doctor Who (well, that he could remember anyway - but at least our letterer, Bolt 01, has seen the show, so one out of three ain't bad)! With all this ignorance running rampant through the project, we were sure to come up with something 'bizarre and new' involving Who - though I have to admit, I had fears that by accident we might create something that makes sense in a Who sort of way, but alas! my fears were unfounded! - and if we didn't quite come up with something 'bizarre and new' at least we ticked all the boxes as far as 'random and perverse' goes...
A vast Cosmic Worm through whose bowels time and space...em, runs...? Check.
Doctor Who shat out of said Cosmic Worm's bowels? Check.
Who-parts harvested from Who-farms? Including extra-large Who-penises? Why...check.
A black Doctor Who assembled from said parts? Running around naked through the entire strip? Partway check - his head is from a black Who but his body is white. I wonder...oh, silly Davros, what other black Who-parts did you use?
S&M Dalexxx Robots? Erotic surgery? Check and check.
A blatantly homosexual Davros? A distinct homoerotic undercurrent? Abundant innuendo? Oh indeed, check, check, check.
Yes, 'random and perverse'. Doctor WTF?! 'Zine, fully loaded with my 'Cosmic Excrement', is cumming in May! If this post has given you even one reason to buy the mag, then it was made specifically for you!
Update: Bhuna has posted Who and Davros concept sketches on his blog.
Update 2: Bhuna has now posted Dalexxx concept sketches here.